30m Contest

[Joshua_mybb_import21010]

Seeming as I'm giving my pure away, I decided to host a contest. (Quitting Runescape but not RG)

1st prize: 15m
2nd prize: 10m
3rd price: 5m

This will be an opinionated contest
Post any joke under 50 words (whether it be your own, or taken from another source. Not including RG) and the 3 funniest shall be awarded 1st, 2nd and 3rd place.

Good luck to all participants

 

[Jam]

Women's rights.


ill take my 15m now

 

[Method_mybb_import12907]

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

[Scenery]

What does a green fish smell like?
A green fish.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she was hit by a bus

Knock knock
*Who's there?*
Not Sally.

 

[Adam]

How do you stop a Mexican tank?

Spoiler

Shoot the people pushing it.

 

[Fabs]

What do you call a black person on a stick?

Shit on a stick

What do you call a black priest?

Holy Shit

 

[~L~]

Mother and father had twins, a pesimist and optimist. For christmas they decided the pesimist to get a horsey and the optimist horse shit. Christmas morning: Pesimist is crying:i wanted a black one, this one is grey, i wanted it to be real and it's wooden...
optimist with a surprised tone: And i got a real one, but i went somewhere!!
(63) i'm auto denied i suppose, but wanted to post this

 

[poffy54]

hey quit with the racial jokes i got tons of black ppl in my family tree, its in my backyard

 

[~L~]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

[Ben Hartley]

hey quit with the racial jokes i got tons of black ppl in my family tree, its in my backyard

lmao, thats a winner riht here.

 

[Singer]

What do a mole rat and an eagle have in common?

Spoiler

They both live underground, except for the eagle.

 

[excilez]

Bad lucks jokes.
Is immortal, sentenced to life prison.
Gets home schooled, gets bullied.
Goes for prostate exam, wolverine is the nurse.
Sets password as penis, says " not long enough"

 

[Michael]

Spoiler: Offensive: Don't open if easily offended

"What do u say if it's pitch dark in your room and your TV starts to move?
'Drop it, ******.'"

Spoiler: Offensive

"What do you call a black guy with no arms and legs?
Trustworthy"

 

[Strength_mybb_import21403]

Why are black people so tall? Because they're knee-grows

 

[Th3y Call M3 Patrick]

what has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?

My Zipper

 

[Zearl]

Where did Jimmy go after he got hit by the bus?

Everywhere.

 

[tu y tu mama]

How do you make a Mexican starve to death?
Take all his food.

What's worse than falling to the ground?
The Holocaust.

 

[Tounix]

Q. Why are black people good at baseball?
A. They can hit, steal, and run.

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

 

[Fusion]

'how do you like your eggs in the morning?'
'fertilized?'

 

[Joshua_mybb_import21010]

Alright. The 3 winners have been selected.
In 1st place: Jam (Couldn't stop laughing)
In 2nd place: Mirage (Good jokes there )
In 3rd place: Wubstep (1st joke was hilarious)

Currently in Melbourne, just pm your ig name and I'll add you when I get home (Sunday)

Thanks to all participents, majority of them gave me a laugh.