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attacking loneliness

supahmanross9

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In its most severe form, loneliness can drive a person to real panic and even to insanity or suicide. In its milder form, loneliness can be felt as nothing more that the vague feeling of being unloved and unwanted, the feeling of not belonging. In both cases, loneliness is something everyone has to grapple with at one time or another. Loneliness is a chronic pain in the neck that comes with being alive and being an individual.

When God created Adam, even if he was already in the garden of Eden, he still said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." What surprises us is that instead of taking away Adam's loneliness, God created Eve and gave her to Adam to be his partner.

Loneliness, in spite of the terrible feelings that come with it, is still a gift of God. At worst, it is the price we human beings pay for our capacity to think, to reflect, to be aware of our own uniqueness and limitations. At best, loneliness is the other side of our capacity to give and receive love, something that makes us resemble God. If alone, I should not feel lonely, would I ever reach out to others in love?

Whenever I feel lonely, I try not to ask why anymore, for I know it is part of my being human. I ask, instead, what I may have done to make myself feel isolated, walled-in and alienated from the others. In fact, loneliness comes during those moments of isolation, when around me I have built an invisible wall, perhaps after I have been hurt by others. The same wall protects me from getting hurt again; but, alas, it also imprisons me.

Psychologists say that loneliness is part of our being human because, they say, we are relational by nature. Which means that each of us is not meant to remain an "I" forever. Loneliness urges to find the "You", reach out, and together, form a "We". Loneliness disappears as soon as we experience a "We-ness" with others.

Mystics, however, say that we experience loneliness because we have been created in the image and likeness of God who is Three Persons. They add that the experience of loneliness is both a prod for us to search for communion with the Trinitarian God through our faith and adherence to the Person of Jesus. It is also an invitation towards establishing community or communion with our fellow human beings.
 
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I think that most of this can be resolved within yourself. It's always nice to have people to have in your life who care about you and are interested in you. But also, you have to be open to being that for people as well. It's a give and take. There's very little effort in all this. You would be able to find people, or even just one person, who relates with you. If you are the type of person who doesn't go out much, then online chats is one way. Another would be to get involved with volunteering. Look for something that is comfortable for you that doesn't drain you and make you uncomfortable. I personally find that when I volunteer it really makes me feel valued. You too might discover that. It's healthy for the heart...to make a difference. You know your comfort level though, and being yourself is a huge key to finding good people for you.