My 5 1/2" penis has totally destroyed my life. I'm in my early thirties and have only had two relationships and the occasional encounter with a prostitute.. No wife, no ex-wives, no children, nothing. I first realized that I was inadequate around age 12-13..and, of course, this inadequacy made me fear intimacy with women. I grew up in a neighborhood full of girls, most of whom tried to sleep with me at one time or another--- but I always managed to slip away. And while my friends were out discovering girls and enjoying their youth, I was all alone in my room smoking pot and watching television. Sure, I'd occasionally meet up with my friends...but when the conversation turned to women, or when a social situation arose in which girls were involved, I'd always get out of there. At the age of 14 an overly-aggressive chick pursued me until I gave in. Several months into the relationship she tried to put it on me and I could'nt perform out of fear (I was scared to take my pants off!). Needless to say---end of relationship. So, I turn 16 and discover 20 dollar prostitutes..and then at the age of 18 another aggressive female entered my life. She pursued me (or, shall I say, stalked me) until I gave in and we had a relationship. So, she pretty much pushes me into intimacy--- and the sex was horriblel--sorta like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. But, she claimed that she was in love....wanted to have my baby and get married. Sooooooo--being young and dumb (and totally in love)--I impregnate her..and then she aborts the baby a month later and starts sleeping with someone else. So I start smoking crack. Sure, I understood the dangers but honestly didnt care. I felt hopeless. I embark on a crime spree and crack binge that lasted several years. Eventually, my life-style caught up with me and I was sentenced to 6 years in prison. So, I go to prison and sober up, join Narcotics Anonymous, see a psychologist, lift weights, practice meditation daily for several years and I'm at the top of my game! Felt great! And then I get out of prison and reality smacks me in the face. And here I sit--a socially mal-adjusted un-employed loser with no viable job-skills nor previous employment history..and scared to death of women. The pain is becoming unbearable. Simply seeing an attractive women or bumping into an old friend out with his children or girl-friend is enough to send me into paralyzing bouts of depression. It's very sad. I'm a very attractive guy (or at least thats what the chicks have always told me). The thoughts of what could have been ....and the memories of all the chicks whom have tried to seduce me in the past are killing me.On a positive note, I hav'nt relapsed on crack cocaine..but then sometimes I wonder if there's really any point in staying sober. I mean, if I can't have a wife or children of self-esteem or any of the other things that normal men have...whats the point? But I'm going to stay sober for a little while longer and see if I can turn this thing around... it all seems so hopeless though. Anyways, I figured I'd come here and talk to you guys. As with my addiction, just being able to talk about this issue with someone whom can relate makes it a little better. Thanks.