n0f4m3 said:Uhm? Ok well there was a CIA job that was top secret, they originally had 100 people running for the job, and eventually narrowed it down to 3 people. Two men and one woman, So the CIA Sent a representative to pick the winner, the one who gets the top secret job. They needed someone who would follow ANY order so the CIA representative walked up to the first man and said "Follow me" he lead him to a large door, he turned to the man and handed him a gun and said "Ok, Inside those doors you will find your wife tied to a chair, walk in and shoot her. This will prove you will follow any order" The man shook his head and said "I can't do that, This job isn't for me" and walked away, The CIA representative went and got the second man, Brought him to the same door and said "Inside you will find your wife tied to a chair, walk in and shoot her, this will prove you will follow any order" The man took the gun, and walked inside the doors, A few seconds later he came back out crying and said he couldn't do it either, walking away shaking his head. So the representative went and got the woman, He brought her to the door and handed her the gun, "Ok, Inside the doors your husband is tied to a chair, walk in and shoot him to prove you will follow any order" The woman walked into the doors, Seconds later the representative heard gunshots and screaming, He heard crying, banging and then silence, The woman came back out of the room and handed him the gun, her face was cut and her hair was messed up, the CIA agent looked at her odly, and she replied "You could have told me the gun was only filled with blanks!! I had to beat that son of a bitch to death with the chair!"
God said:A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
I thought this was hilarious!
n0f4m3 said:Can I post two? or darn I am anyways.
There was a massive fire at the Holiday Inn hotel, One of the burn victims was in hospital room 23B, The nurse walks in the room to give the patient his bath, As she is washing his legs he looks at her with the surgical burn mask on and says "Are my testicles black?" She blinks and looks away blushing "Umm I'm sorry sir but I can't see, Your hospital gown is covering them" She continues to wash over his feet and legs and he asks again "Are my testicles black?" She sighs and lifts his gown, Picking up his testicles and holding them in her hands, she inspects and looks back to him "Um No they look fine to me" He takes off the surgical mask and smiles "Thank you that was very nice, but A-R-E-M-Y-T-E-S-T-R-E-S-U-L-T-S-B-A-C-K?"
Reality said:Well i was home today didnt go to school all bored and depressed and stuff parents were not home and no one else except the cat. First i tryed watching tv but it got boring as hell than the cat jumped on my junk and i starting petting his head.
After 5min of playing with his head i started doing experiments which led to the cat causing alot of sounds but than i hear a girl scream i look out of my window the girl i wanted for 10 years just saw me playing with a cat but seems she didnt see me playing with it she yelled at a rat or something.
Than i was trying to hide so when my parents come back from work they wont find me home and so they will think i went to to school, the girl walks by where i was hiding and says i want to be in the animal fest to next time i got so embarrassed.
Reality said:Well i was home today didnt go to school all bored and depressed and stuff parents were not home and no one else except the cat. First i tryed watching tv but it got boring as hell than the cat jumped on my junk and i starting petting his head.
After 5min of playing with his head i started doing experiments which led to the cat causing alot of sounds but than i hear a girl scream i look out of my window the girl i wanted for 10 years just saw me playing with a cat but seems she didnt see me playing with it she yelled at a rat or something.
Than i was trying to hide so when my parents come back from work they wont find me home and so they will think i went to to school, the girl walks by where i was hiding and says i want to be in the animal fest to next time i got so embarrassed.
Reality said:The furry doesn't understand.
/wtf?
Reality said:The furry doesn't understand.
/wtf?
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