I can't give my dick away this week...

Burt

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So I'm cruising through town and all the fine ass hunnies are out in droves tonight. Fine bitches at the store, McDonalds, drive-thru, everywhere. I must've hit on AT LEAST 6 different girls, 5 of whom I'm almost certain are under 18, but fuck it, yolo, and I barely got any love back. I bluntly asked the oldest one, "you LTF tonight?" (looking to fuck), and even that barely got any response. I'm going on a 4 week draught and my dick is feeling lonely. Anyone else having any bad luck getting pussy this month? idk if it's a seasonal thing or wtf is going on, but this is my longest draught in ages.

On a side note, if anyone's in the tri-state Ohio area and has a hot sister or knows of a lose girl I can tear up, let me know.

I'm gonna attack this bottle of SoCo and masturbate til there's no more skin left on the fuckin' thing.
 
Just go on tah pornhub.

I go on there 5 times a week ;)
 
Bit said:
Should pick up my MeetMe method, I just had a hot blonde solid 10 hmu. No, she's not catfish haha. #IAmMrJonDoe
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Bro, I ooze confidence and I'm sexy AF. idk where I went wrong tonight. I was talking straight from my dick....like literally sending out telepathic fuck signals with it and getting nothing. Weird af.
 
I am beyond confused nigga. Lol.
 
Wait... Why is this in the gamertags section.

This is such a stupid thread too. You've hit on 6 girls? 6? woah man just slow down. You know you're a guy on the same level as the shirtless indians on omegle when your name on FK is @8Fap=DongD~~~ and you hit on 5 underage girls (In USA, over here we fuck at 16) and try to pick em' up by blatantly saying "Are you LTF?". You're not making plays scrub, maybe get a haircut, brush your teeth, go to the gym sometime and stop hitting on chicks either out of your league, or underage. #MadBecauseYoureNotAPlayMaker
 
New Zealand said:
Wait... Why is this in the gamertags section.

This is such a stupid thread too. You've hit on 6 girls? 6? woah man just slow down. You know you're a guy on the same level as the shirtless indians on omegle when your name on FK is @8Fap=DongD~~~ and you hit on 5 underage girls (In USA, over here we fuck at 16) and try to pick em' up by blatantly saying "Are you LTF?". You're not making plays scrub, maybe get a haircut, brush your teeth, go to the gym sometime and stop hitting on chicks either out of your league, or underage. #MadBecauseYoureNotAPlayMaker
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Coming from the guy from New Zealand; the country notorious for having the worst hair styles and guys that fuck sheep on the reg. And the kind of bitches that want gym fags (here) aren't the kind of bitches I'm looking for. If I wanted an overly tanned whore with a 6-pack, 10lbs of makeup on her face and an "ermagerd, whatever" attitude, I'd move to New Jersey. Bitches in Ohio and most of the mid-west don't give a fuck about gym rats, in fact, most consider overly muscular guys as a turn-off. So before you go bashing my country, giving me hygiene advice and mocking my game, maybe learn the ways of the world yourself. Bitches 'round here want big ole country boys who swing they dicks like axes and I'm a big ole axe swingin' Viking mother fucker.

And btw, NO bitch is out of Fap Daddy's league. #Represent
 
8Fap=DongD~~~ said:
Coming from the guy from New Zealand; the country notorious for having the worst hair styles and guys that fuck sheep on the reg. And the kind of bitches that want gym fags (here) aren't the kind of bitches I'm looking for. If I wanted an overly tanned whore with a 6-pack, 10lbs of makeup on her face and an "ermagerd, whatever" attitude, I'd move to New Jersey. Bitches in Ohio and most of the mid-west don't give a fuck about gym rats, in fact, most consider overly muscular guys as a turn-off. So before you go bashing my country, giving me hygiene advice and mocking my game, maybe learn the ways of the world yourself. Bitches 'round here want big ole country boys who swing they dicks like axes and I'm a big ole axe swingin' Viking mother fucker.

And btw, NO bitch is out of Fap Daddy's league. #Represent
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Aye 'Carl' you based your response off what you've heard about new zealand "So before you go bashing my country, giving me hygiene advice and mocking my game, maybe learn the ways of the world yourself" Kind of says everything with out me needing to, you bashed my country just then without knowing it. Also how exactly did i bash your country? I think you'll find that over here we indeed do infact have good hairstyles. Also we have very little chicks who are like that, did you see the thread a while back about "Why is every american chick so stuck up and arrogant" ? American chicks are the worst. Infact girls everywhere love guys with some good muscle and a nice pack. FACT. I love how New Zealanders average dick sizes are bigger than USA dick sizes, so chances are i'm bigger and also, there's almost nothing BUT country over here, so maybe you should give them a lil tip to take a trip over here?
 
Well I can personally vouch for Fap Daddy, bitches in the Midwest are straight down as fuck and chill, maybe if the tricks in New Zealand looked half as good as a sheep the guys would choose then instead lol so go get your self a mullet or a fucking bowl but and get on my lever fuck boii :) Team 'merica in the mother fucking house.

(no sheep or bowl cuts here sir, just good ole American pimpin, pimpin.)
 
TrapLord$ said:
Just go on tah pornhub.

I go on there 5 times a week ;)
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more like in a 12 hour period. lol.
 
New Zealand said:
Aye 'Carl' you based your response off what you've heard about new zealand "So before you go bashing my country, giving me hygiene advice and mocking my game, maybe learn the ways of the world yourself" Kind of says everything with out me needing to, you bashed my country just then without knowing it. Also how exactly did i bash your country? I think you'll find that over here we indeed do infact have good hairstyles. Also we have very little chicks who are like that, did you see the thread a while back about "Why is every american chick so stuck up and arrogant" ? American chicks are the worst. Infact girls everywhere love guys with some good muscle and a nice pack. FACT. I love how New Zealanders average dick sizes are bigger than USA dick sizes, so chances are i'm bigger and also, there's almost nothing BUT country over here, so maybe you should give them a lil tip to take a trip over here?
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Bro, you don't even know mid-west American bitches are where it's at. Also, ugly bitches in Cali and Florida are hotter than most anywhere, let alone the hot ones. Netherlands excluded (hey, Fap Daddy has a weakness for blonde hair and blue eyes, sue me).

Also, you can't compare dick sizes between a country with 350,000,000 people and a country with what? 20 million? Just guessing here. Those averages tend to go down (FACT) the larger the population, China and India being the most prominent examples. The fact that your strongest argument involved bringing in average nation penis sizes in the first place loses you this entire argument, now and forever.

Also, the ONLY reason the average penis size is smaller in the US than in NZ is because my dick's too big for their measurement equipment. Hard to measure a penis that can be seen from space with a ruler, bro. Otherwise, the US would be #1. They're working on a special device at MIT just to measure mine (look it up), so when that happens, game over for every other country.

Also, no it's NOT a fact that bitches prefer muscular guys. It's a deterrent for literally every real world bitch I know. They want kind, compassionate men who genuinely care about them and could give 2 shits about fitness lmfao. A nice pair of cowboy boots helps, though. You, again, defeated yourself with that statement. If a girl cares about fitness, is she not "stuck up and arrogant"?

The moral of this story is I need to get my dick wet and you will never be able to match logic, wits or spit with the legendary Fap Dong. So unless you wanna put a wig on and bend over, keep on truckin', son.
 
Slacker said:
Well I can personally vouch for Fap Daddy, bitches in the Midwest are straight down as fuck and chill, maybe if the tricks in New Zealand looked half as good as a sheep the guys would choose then instead lol so go get your self a mullet or a fucking bowl but and get on my lever fuck boii :) Team 'merica in the mother fucking house.

(no sheep or bowl cuts here sir, just good ole American pimpin, pimpin.)
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Oh i didn't know a hillbilly had a good hairstyle? or how about real rednecks? what happened to all their mullets? Nah allgood bruz, you can have some decent haircut, we'll keep our gym bodies, last i heard "Murica" had a little problem with their bodies? and i think a chick would take a guy with a "Bowl cut, or mullet" (since that what you think we have here) with a good bod, over a fatty with some slicked back hair. That's good though, midwest girls are chill are they? Well the whole chick population of New Zealand are chill

Small midwest area < Whole country

Also can you maybe check what you're writing? Tricks? on your Lever?
 
New Zealand said:
Oh i didn't know a hillbilly had a good hairstyle? or how about real rednecks? what happened to all their mullets? Nah allgood bruz, you can have some decent haircut, we'll keep our gym bodies, last i heard "Murica" had a little problem with their bodies? and i think a chick would take a guy with a "Bowl cut, or mullet" (since that what you think we have here) with a good bod, over a fatty with some slicked back hair. That's good though, midwest girls are chill are they? Well the whole chick population of New Zealand are chill

Small midwest area < Whole country

Also can you maybe check what you're writing? Tricks? on your Lever?
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Do girls from New Zealand even Twerk???
Exactly.....
 
New Zealand said:
Oh i didn't know a hillbilly had a good hairstyle? or how about real rednecks? what happened to all their mullets? Nah allgood bruz, you can have some decent haircut, we'll keep our gym bodies, last i heard "Murica" had a little problem with their bodies? and i think a chick would take a guy with a "Bowl cut, or mullet" (since that what you think we have here) with a good bod, over a fatty with some slicked back hair.
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Let me stop you there. I need you to be real for a minute and put all of your beliefs on this stuff behind you. Close you eyes for a second. Imagine you're a chick with little meat (even on her pussy, just a clit and a hole). Now imagine climbing on top of a big man with some cushion, squatting down on his dick and sliding to the bottom. Do you feel that? Soft and cushiony, huh? A very comfortable fuck. Now close your eyes again, you're the same bitch, but this time imagine your meatless pussy is sliding down the cock of a man with little body fat. You're hitting the bottom of his shaft now. Feel that? It's hard and uncomfortable, isn't it?
 
Lmfao Fap, I am only 170 at 5'10" I am average built.and am far from a hill Billy / red neck new Zealand you guys are just toooo funny. Yes trick is a word often used in reference to a female I'm the states btw. Not the entire mid west is country folks haha I am a city boi lol
 
8Fap=DongD~~~ said:
Bro, you don't even know mid-west American bitches are where it's at. Also, ugly bitches in Cali and Florida are hotter than most anywhere, let alone the hot ones. Netherlands excluded (hey, Fap Daddy has a weakness for blonde hair and blue eyes, sue me).

Also, you can't compare dick sizes between a country with 350,000,000 people and a country with what? 20 million? Just guessing here. Those averages tend to go down (FACT) the larger the population, China and India being the most prominent examples. The fact that your strongest argument involved bringing in average nation penis sizes in the first place loses you this entire argument, now and forever.

Also, the ONLY reason the average penis size is smaller in the US than in NZ is because my dick's too big for their measurement equipment. Hard to measure a penis that can be seen from space with a ruler, bro. Otherwise, the US would be #1. They're working on a special device at MIT just to measure mine (look it up), so when that happens, game over for every other country.

Also, no it's NOT a fact that bitches prefer muscular guys. It's a deterrent for literally every real world bitch I know. They want kind, compassionate men who genuinely care about them and could give 2 shits about fitness lmfao. A nice pair of cowboy boots helps, though. You, again, defeated yourself with that statement. If a girl cares about fitness, is she not "stuck up and arrogant"?

The moral of this story is I need to get my dick wet and you will never be able to match logic, wits or spit with the legendary Fap Dong. So unless you wanna put a wig on and bend over, keep on truckin', son.
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Did you go to school? Do you know how much effort and time it would take to actually take an average from every person in the country? They would've taken a small number of men and used that information. This gives a more accurate estimation of that country using that small group of men. Which means, ours a still bigger sorry to say.

Also, i never said they had to be dwane the rock johnson did i? Every single girl loves a bit of muscle and some abs.

I'm done trying to say anything else.
 
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