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I sexually identify as DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON

Mal

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Ever since I was a prepubescent plebeian, all I wanted to be was a 6'4 250 pound ROCK HARD Samoan God of fertility. All the haters used to make fun of me saying, "Matt you faggot, your wiener is so small you can't be rock hard like grandpapi Dwayne", but I said "FUCK YOU MOM DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON IS THE HARDEST MAN ALIVE SOME CAN SAY THAT HES EVEN ROCK HARD AND I WANT TO BE HIM. NO, I AM HIM." I shake off all the haters by flexing my ROCK HARD pecs, shooting lasers out of my nipples and incinerating my foes. I've already begun my transformation by lathering peanut butter over all of my body everyday for the past 6 years in order to achieve that perfect level of mocha-y goodness. I have injected my body with multiple differed steroids as well as copious amounts of HGH so that my muscles will swell up to the size of small city-states to top off my ROCK HARD transformation. I want you guys to understand my ROCK HARD personality is my flag of pride and I wave that mother fucker everyday off the huge flagpole that is my monster dong peanut butter schlong. If you don't accept me for who I am, you need to check your ROCK HARD privilege because you are oppressing me. Thank you for understanding.
 

Joker

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R


I

P


TO THE ROCKS COUSIN THE SAMOAN BULLDOZER UMANGA

Jokernever to e said:
R


I

P


TO THE ROCKS COUSIN THE SAMOAN BULLDOZER UMANGA
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 you will never be forgotten brtah we out here chilling
 

blast

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I'm so confused, what did I just read like fr... I was following sort of until laser nipples
 

Cred

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If you are serious tell me. For years I thought I was the only one that identified myself as "DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON" I even tried to take steroids for a while but it wasn't worth it. No one believed and treated me as if I was "DWAYNE THE FUCKING ROCK JOHNSON" Please share my story.
 

Mal

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Joker said:
leeeeeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeemeeeeeeeeeeeeees

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what the frick!!!!1!!!!11111 xDDDD le troll face xDDD

Fedoras said:
Haha very funny post OP!I am dying of laughter
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Is there any logical reason why you would fucking say that post is underrated? Has anybody expressed any kind of dissatisfaction or criticism at all against it? Are you delusional? Are you reading replies that are nonexistant? Maybe you come from communities with voting systems, but there is literally no way that you could know what other people think of that post you just replied to here. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's your own post you're replying to, like a 12 year old fucktard liking his own facebook posts thinking his swelling autism is going unnoticed. Maybe your self esteem depends on you tricking yourself into thinking someone out there thinks your post is worth something. Or maybe you are just a retard, the worst kind of retard, the one who thinks he's smart, the one who thinks he's the only one to have gotten the joke, to have understood the post. Well, guess what, faggot, that post is under no definition underrated so why don't you do the world a favor and go check out what the bottom of your toilet smells like?
 

Fedora

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to long didnd;t read


my feet smeell good
 

Joker

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about @fedoras, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
 
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