That's how it may seem, but it can't be like that forever, or at least it shouldn't. I'm much like you in a way where I felt I didn't fit in much, but I've slowly found a group of friends with the same interest as me, I.E Anime related... All in all if you can't ifnd ways to make friends, then don't try too hard on it, like not being yourself, and being "fake". Also, if people are using you for stuff, that's really wrong, I had similar problems like that in middle school, "this kid want'ed a CSGO aimbot, so I made him one but it had a rat in it so I stole all his skins and shit". Now I can see one thing that is holding you back, and like you said "My negative outlook on life". Well, I'm sure it's been said a many of times, but life is pretty hard, and while it may not be for everyone, it seems its hard for you, and believe me I've had tons of issues in the past pertaining to depression, and other things, but it's moved on mostly... Now I really can't help you make friends, nor even if I did, I wouldn't really be a big help because you pick and choose who you hang around.
tl;dr ; if you need anyone to watch anime with or discuss shit with im here.