Long Dong's Tutorial to The Ultimate Male Sexual Experience (FREE!)

Burt

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Klvn. said:
Fuck that my bitch kisses me after she sucks me off, you'd best believe I'm kissing her after eating her out.
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If you wash your dick like you're supposed to (lol), there's very little bacteria on the penis pre-sex, therefor, little, if any smell. A vagina, however, is a mecca of bacteria and other fun little organisms. All of that causes odor, which leads to bad breath. There is no double standard on this one. Dicks=odorless. Pussies=odor. I'm personally excited by the smell of pussy, as are most guys, but I learned if I'm going to go down, to wash my mouth out if I'm going to kiss the girl/make love to her. And I know dicks smell most of the time, but you're 'supposed' to wash it before sex, anyways, so there's no excuse for a stinky dick, fellas.
 

Phormick

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You know waaaaaaaay to much. Go outside sometimes maybe.
 

Burt

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Pandas said:
this is beautiful :') omfg this was perfect..
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Glad you enjoyed it x) lol. I might add to it later. Some tips/advice about penis growth. Idk yet xD.

Malwhere said:
You know waaaaaaaay to much. Go outside sometimes maybe.
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I do go outside. A lot. Which is why I only have 600 posts in a year on here. Nah, my knowledge comes from experience. Embarrassing or not on my end, if it helps somebody have a better experience, then that's all that matters. Yeah, it's a funny thread, I get it, but this really is meant to be a serious guide lol.
 

Yeti

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I can see how this is a true guide. I have a sister and we converse about this all the time.
I deal pocket pussies actually.

As for everything else:

How often do girls actually cum?
I thought it was rare, super hard to achieve

also I have some tips on penis enlargement )
 

Burt

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Yeah, I was gonna do a chapter about penis enlargement, but I didn't get around to it. Does your guide cover all the basics? Jelqing/milking, devices, which pills really enhance? You should also promote Ropex brand semen volume booster. It's the only one I've tried that works. It's available now on amazon.com!
 

devonnx

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Thanks for this OP. This eBook saved my sex life and my marriage. Huge vouch!
 

devonnx

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Shift said:
RIP OP he was a great man.

____________
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So are the legends true? The elders speak of a wise man who roamed the lands surrounding the village of ForumKorner. A man taught the ancient ways by the sex gods of olde who used his knowledge to better the land. Of whom the bards still sing about and prophets praise. I don't know if the legends are true or not, but I wish I could have met this wise old sex sage.
 

Shift

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I actually met him, call me crazy but the legends are true.
 

devonnx

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Shift said:
I actually met him, call me crazy but the legends are true.
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Are you the one the prophecy foretold of? The brown skinned youth from the empire of California who lost his way while exploring caves? They say the wise Lord Dong approached the young man after he got lost in a cave not far from the city of angels. The DongFather spoke to him and said "do not fear me, for I am the Lord of all Dongs. I come to help you. And with a wave of his giant meat wand, the DongFather erupted a dormant geyser from the cave like a wellspring from a maiden's womb, washing the young dark skinned explorer to safety. Is that truly you? Can it be?
 

Shift

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I was lost but I found the entrance all thanks to Master Dong.
 

board

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I'm wondering what the girl users on this site are thinking right now? lmao
 

devonnx

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board said:
I'm wondering what the girl users on this site are thinking right now? lmao
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They're not thinking anything, because they don't exist on here.
 

Amp

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This thread is so godly, I am honestly going to keep some of this in mind.
 

board

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devonnx said:
They're not thinking anything, because they don't exist on here.
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Alright bro, your a multi user though right
 

devonnx

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board said:
Alright bro, your a multi user though right
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Of course not. That would be a violation of the Terms of Service as set forth by the founders of this revered institution. :X
 

board

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devonnx said:
Of course not. That would be a violation of the Terms of Service as set forth by the founders of this revered institution. :X
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@Shift and @Walrus say your a multi.
 
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