I'm about as frustrated as a armless guy watching porn!
You're so gay you wear boxers backwards for easy access
You better take care of your fucking eyes because it's the only balls you got.
Heres a fun idea: Dont got any kids, but looking for a good laugh?
Well, hire a babysitter, and tell her your kid is upstairs sleeping and is not to be woken up. Go out and drink for an hour or two. On your return, ask the babysitter where your kid is.
Jesus turned water into wine. I just put a stick in a non-stick pan. Your move Jesus...
I love visiting elementary school. Parents usually ask me "Which one is your kid?" I reply with "I havent decided yet."
The cops came to my house claiming my dog had chased someone on a bike. I told those idiots my dog doesn't have a bike.
It's not that I hate you, but lets put it this way: if you were on fire and I had a cup of water, I would drink it.
If this doesn't make you laugh, I dont know what willCops never think it's as funny as you do. They sent me a picture of me speeding, so I sent them a picture of a check... so they sent me a picture of handcuffs.
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