[OFFICIAL] Gorilla Warfare Thread.

[Yuuki]

This thread is dedicated to the what the fuck did you just say to me paragraphs. Feel freee to post ones already made, or we can make them up as we go, I'll start it off.

What in the name of the Valar did you just fucking say about me, you little Dark Lord? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the White Council, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Mordor, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla magic and I'm the top wizard in the entire Middle Earth forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Middle Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over a Palantír? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of eagles across the realm and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you fool of a Took. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, dotard. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my staff. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed bridge defense, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Gondor and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Arda, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit magic all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, dwimmerlaik.

@Climax
@Shift
@Random

 

[Shift]

RE: [OFFICIAL] What the ___ did you just say to me?

fuck you, ive raped people for far less than this. you think you can fucking come on the board and just act like a fucking hardass and order people around? Bad news for you, fuckface, but tonights the night your luck runs out. You fucking tell ANYBODY on these forums what to do again, and you're going to find out the hard way what a fucking baseball bat to the side of the skull feels like. Think I'm fucking kidding? I have your IP, I know who you are, and Im more than willing to settle this argument face to fucking face. You call yourself "Hardcore"? We'll see who's the hardcore one when one of us is lying face down in a pile of their own blood, shit, and piss. Try and order someone else on here around, and see what fucking happens to you. I'm normally a calm guy but when I need to, I'm willing to break some fucking face to get my point across, just fucking test me you worthless sack of excrement.

 

[climax]

RE: [OFFICIAL] What the ___ did you just say to me?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bully? I'll have you know I lasted 16 years in Canada, and I've been involved in numerous raids on my own body, and I have over 300 ML of bleach drank. I am trained in self harm and I'm the top Clorox chugger in BC, Canada. You are nothing to me but just another Bully. I will wipe myself the fuck out with chugging the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am knotting my 2 meters long of rope across my neck and your feels are being hurt right now so you better prepare for the suicide, bully. The suicide that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking done, kid. I can die anywhere, anytime, and I can kill myself in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Clorox and rope, You fucked up bully, I will shit sadness on you and you will drown in it, I'm fucking dead kiddo.

What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nigga. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nigga. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nigga.

What the squid did you just squidding say about me, you little human? De geso. I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Squids, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Fish Markets, and I have over 300 squidding gills. I am trained in tentacle warfare and I'm the top inker in the entire squid army de geso. You are nothing to me but just another servant. I will wipe you
the squid out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Surface World, mark my squidding words. You think you can get away with saying that fish to me over the Internet? Think again, human. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of squids across the Surface and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the tsunami, human. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're squid-ding dead, mouth breather. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can gill you in over seven hundred kraken ways, and that's just with my bare tentacles. Not only am I extensively trained in tentacle combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Sea's creatures and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bass off the face of the surface, you little gull. If only you could have known what squidly retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your kraken tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you squidding baka. I will ink fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're squidding dead, de geso. (An anime reference)
What in the Lord's name did you just say about me, you little atheist? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Ministry school, and I have over 300 confirmed prayers. I am trained in the religion Baptist and I'm the top Priest in the entire Christian religion. You are nothing to me but another non believer. I will teach you the word of God with the largest choir that has ever been seen;
mark my works. You think you can get away with not believing in a god? Think again, atheist. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of churches across the USA and you're going to be forced to believe in god right now, so you better prepare for the faith, sir. The faith that wipes out the pathetic thing you call atheism. You're Christian now, sir. I can teach you anywhere, anytime, and I can preach in over seven hundred ways, and that's just off the top of my head. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching from memory, but I have access to the entire mob of the United States Christian Club and I will use it to its full extent to force you into Christianity, you little atheist. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little religion was about to bring down upon you, maybe you wouldn't have challenged the word of god. But you couldn't, you didn't and now you're praying the price, you imbecile. I will teach the word of God all over you and you will drown in it. You're a christian now, kiddo.

 

[Shift]

RE: [OFFICIAL] What the ___ did you just say to me?

Why are you such an idiot? You jaundiced jumped up, vercordiously pusillanimous piffle. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. Single-handedly, you have wrenched all meaning out of life. Congratulations. As I write this I try vainly to think of something, anything, which redeems in some small way your utterly pointless existence. The only thing that comes to mind is that you have taught me hate. Pure, unmitigated hate. I have had fantasies about attacking you with a machete, but I dare not. I once cut up a starfish, which was so neurologically simple that each piece grew into a clone of the original. Your coleopteron brain no doubt shares certain appalling similarities with such creatures. You, misguided as you are, might be asking yourself what you have done to deserve such a letter as this. Your misdeeds and villainous vampings can be described in just two words: you exist. And believe me, there is no reason on earth why you should. How do you justify to yourself waking up each morning and ruining yet another day? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

 

[Yuuki]

RE: [OFFICIAL] What the ___ did you just say to me?

fuck you, ive raped people for far less than this. you think you can fucking come on the board and just act like a fucking hardass and order people around? Bad news for you, fuckface, but tonights the night your luck runs out. You fucking tell ANYBODY on these forums what to do again, and you're going to find out the hard way what a fucking baseball bat to the side of the skull feels like. Think I'm fucking kidding? I have your IP, I know who you are, and Im more than willing to settle this argument face to fucking face. You call yourself "Hardcore"? We'll see who's the hardcore one when one of us is lying face down in a pile of their own blood, shit, and piss. Try and order someone else on here around, and see what fucking happens to you. I'm normally a calm guy but when I need to, I'm willing to break some fucking face to get my point across, just fucking test me you worthless sack of excrement.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pleb? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Art School, and I've been involved in numerous listens of NMH on vinyl , and I have over 3000 confirmed songs in my Foobar 2000 playlist. I am trained in songwriting and tumblr use and I'm the top vinyl collector in the record store I work at. You are nothing to me but just another mainstream listening pleb. I will wipe you the fuck out with music the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am readying my field recordings, be prepared for a storm of 2deep4u. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your taste. Not only am I extensively trained in tumblr use, but I have access to the entire collection over at Amoeba Records and I will use it to its full extent to better your miserable pleb taste. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit obscurity all over you and you will drown in it. You're a fucking pleb, kiddo.

 

[Shift]

RE: [OFFICIAL] What the ___ did you just say to me?

Dearest Thread Originator, When my eyes first glanced upon your rather eloquently worded treatise regarding this particular subject, it did not require much time, nay, dare I say it was in fact almost instantaneous that I was able to summarize that your post- though masterfully written with such quality that it may indeed rival the quintessential prose of authors such as Dostoevsky, Baldwin or perhaps even Joyce- was quite prolix; based upon the aforementioned conclusion, I resolved that I would exercise no more of my mental faculties in the act of comprehending the text that you had written.
Sincerely, and wholly unequivocally yours, Wierzbowski
Post Scriptum, In the future it would be most advantageous, not only for me but also the other members of this forum that you provide a brief summary of your text that emphasizes the more principle points of what you have composed.
Post Post Scriptum, I would also like to make one additional comment if I may. It is in my humble and most earnest opinion that you are of the caliber of person whose taste appeals to prurient interests due to unassailable fact that you are a homosexual of the most flamboyant persuasion.

 

[Yuuki]

RE: [OFFICIAL] What the ___ did you just say to me?

Why are you such an idiot? You jaundiced jumped up, vercordiously pusillanimous piffle. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. Single-handedly, you have wrenched all meaning out of life. Congratulations. As I write this I try vainly to think of something, anything, which redeems in some small way your utterly pointless existence. The only thing that comes to mind is that you have taught me hate. Pure, unmitigated hate. I have had fantasies about attacking you with a machete, but I dare not. I once cut up a starfish, which was so neurologically simple that each piece grew into a clone of the original. Your coleopteron brain no doubt shares certain appalling similarities with such creatures. You, misguided as you are, might be asking yourself what you have done to deserve such a letter as this. Your misdeeds and villainous vampings can be described in just two words: you exist. And believe me, there is no reason on earth why you should. How do you justify to yourself waking up each morning and ruining yet another day? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button.
So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is?
I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.

---

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bully? I'll have you know I lasted 16 years in Canada, and I've been involved in numerous raids on my own body, and I have over 300 ML of bleach drank. I am trained in self harm and I'm the top Clorox chugger in BC, Canada. You are nothing to me but just another Bully. I will wipe myself the fuck out with chugging the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am knotting my 2 meters long of rope across my neck and your feels are being hurt right now so you better prepare for the suicide, bully. The suicide that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking done, kid. I can die anywhere, anytime, and I can kill myself in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Clorox and rope, You fucked up bully, I will shit sadness on you and you will drown in it, I'm fucking dead kiddo.

What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nigga. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nigga. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nigga.

What the squid did you just squidding say about me, you little human? De geso. I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Squids, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Fish Markets, and I have over 300 squidding gills. I am trained in tentacle warfare and I'm the top inker in the entire squid army de geso. You are nothing to me but just another servant. I will wipe you
the squid out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Surface World, mark my squidding words. You think you can get away with saying that fish to me over the Internet? Think again, human. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of squids across the Surface and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the tsunami, human. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're squid-ding dead, mouth breather. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can gill you in over seven hundred kraken ways, and that's just with my bare tentacles. Not only am I extensively trained in tentacle combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Sea's creatures and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bass off the face of the surface, you little gull. If only you could have known what squidly retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your kraken tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you squidding baka. I will ink fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're squidding dead, de geso. (An anime reference)
What in the Lord's name did you just say about me, you little atheist? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Ministry school, and I have over 300 confirmed prayers. I am trained in the religion Baptist and I'm the top Priest in the entire Christian religion. You are nothing to me but another non believer. I will teach you the word of God with the largest choir that has ever been seen;
mark my works. You think you can get away with not believing in a god? Think again, atheist. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of churches across the USA and you're going to be forced to believe in god right now, so you better prepare for the faith, sir. The faith that wipes out the pathetic thing you call atheism. You're Christian now, sir. I can teach you anywhere, anytime, and I can preach in over seven hundred ways, and that's just off the top of my head. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching from memory, but I have access to the entire mob of the United States Christian Club and I will use it to its full extent to force you into Christianity, you little atheist. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little religion was about to bring down upon you, maybe you wouldn't have challenged the word of god. But you couldn't, you didn't and now you're praying the price, you imbecile. I will teach the word of God all over you and you will drown in it. You're a christian now, kiddo.

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people. I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like that to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think? Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

 

[Shift]

Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button.
So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is?
I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.

---

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people. I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like that to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think? Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

---

Listen to my man. He's not bull[censored]ting. Me and my boy here killed over 600 terrorists between the both of us during our black ops missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? That's because you're a little [censored] who does nothing but talk [censored] on the internet while waiting for his hot pockets to finish heating in his mother's microwave. I know a hacker in the CIA who could get me the IP to your (or more likely, your parents') house like that. Then guess what happens? I come right on down to that basement you're sitting in and I beat your fat ass to a pulp. [censored], I probably wouldn't even have to do that. I've got buddies in high places, brother. Buddies who wouldn't hesitate to help me out by sending a couple Predator missiles your way and then claiming it was just a horrible accident. Yeah, well the only horrible thing about that "accident" is going to be when you realize you posted on the wrong board and you [censored]ed with the wrong Devil Dog. HOORAH.

 

[Yuuki]

Listen to my man. He's not bull[censored]ting. Me and my boy here killed over 600 terrorists between the both of us during our black ops missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? That's because you're a little [censored] who does nothing but talk [censored] on the internet while waiting for his hot pockets to finish heating in his mother's microwave. I know a hacker in the CIA who could get me the IP to your (or more likely, your parents') house like that. Then guess what happens? I come right on down to that basement you're sitting in and I beat your fat ass to a pulp. [censored], I probably wouldn't even have to do that. I've got buddies in high places, brother. Buddies who wouldn't hesitate to help me out by sending a couple Predator missiles your way and then claiming it was just a horrible accident. Yeah, well the only horrible thing about that "accident" is going to be when you realize you posted on the wrong board and you [censored]ed with the wrong Devil Dog. HOORAH.

I just reported this shitty fucking reply, which is kind of funny, since i am a janitor. that's right ass hole. i don't need to report shit, but i thought i would in this case just so you know how bad you fucked up.

As a janitor, a user of elevated privilege, i actually have a special report interface that patches me directly to Philly. so he will be here soon to ban your ass. that's right, Philly and i are good friends so he regularly bans the fuckheads that i run across on fk. he also gave me access to the mysql database on the server so i can see every post you've ever made - and man, you posted a lot of fucking shit. i actually am going to report your IP to the feds, no joke, there is some seriously illegal shit in these log files which are currently up on my screen.

you picked the wrong board to shitpost on mother fucker. this is the end of you.

 

[Shift]

I just reported this shitty fucking reply, which is kind of funny, since i am a janitor. that's right ass hole. i don't need to report shit, but i thought i would in this case just so you know how bad you fucked up.

As a janitor, a user of elevated privilege, i actually have a special report interface that patches me directly to moot. so he will be here soon to ban your ass. that's right, moot and i are good friends so he regularly bans the fuckheads that i run across on 4chan. he also gave me access to the mysql database on the server so i can see every post you've ever made - and man, you posted a lot of fucking shit. i actually am going to report your IP to the feds, no joke, there is some seriously illegal shit in these log files which are currently up on my screen.

you picked the wrong board to shitpost on mother fucker. this is the end of you.

I'm a former 0321. That's reconnaissance in the United States Marine Corps.
Please, if you're going to impersonate a JSOC operator, at least do some research. I know you're trolling but you gave yourself away when you claim to be a Navy Seal, but also have access to the arsenal of the Marine Corps?

/goodnight skids

 

[Yuuki]

I'm a former 0321. That's reconnaissance in the United States Marine Corps.
Please, if you're going to impersonate a JSOC operator, at least do some research. I know you're trolling but you gave yourself away when you claim to be a Navy Seal, but also have access to the arsenal of the Marine Corps?

/goodnight skids

What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.

 

[Amp]

Swag                                          

 

[Yuuki]

Swag                                          

Where is the yolo. There is none!

 

[Amp]