ok so..

Today has been one of the worst days of my life. Regardless of any other day that has bypassed me with troubles that I have skipped, this has been the worst.

Here is a little back story:

My dad killed himself around the start of September 4 years ago. And had left a really horrid last words in my mind ever since, I've been able to pass all of his birthdays without a trouble until today/yesterday(UK Time). It is/was his birthday yesterday and to make the worst part of my life is that he had a chair that he would always chill on, he'd never leave his seat.. It was where he'd spend most of his final days. I'm speaking in past term because I had sold his chair today without realizing it was his birthday. I try my best to forget about him like anyone would but it just doesn't seem to fade. I'm not after advice nor am I after self pity, This is the Personal Korner so I'm sharing my personal life with you all.

Anyway, I haven't cried today nor am I going to plan on doing so.. I've had a stressful day and everything has literally just hit me today with the recent days and the last time I saw my dad.

I have no clue what i'm saying so you will hardly see me post, if this makes any sense then great job to me. If not then.. fuck it

I'll speak to you in a few days guys, I'll be on a little vacation whilst i'm chilling at my new place with no internet.

im sorry to hear about all this, hope you feel better.

You got my Aim bruh feel free to contact me,

And holding in tears is a mistake,

If you need to cry do it.

Its also proven crying can help

Hope you feel better soon man, but let it out! Bottling stuff up won't help just let it go once in a while

First of all, congrats on your new place. Hope you settle in nicely. Anyways, I'm sorry about your father... despite what his last words were to you, you are still his son so he loved you. Thats what you should hold true to your heart the most. I nevr have had a family member that close like a mom or dad die so I can't really relate to this situation at all but I will pray for you to get through this tough time even though I know you just from the internet. Sorry if that was offensive in case you have a different religion or are just atheist. But you are in my thoughts anyway man. Good luck buddy.

You can cry man, it's ok to cry sometimes. I'd cry if I was in your position, you're strong for holding it in man.

Pimp said:

You got my Aim bruh feel free to contact me,

And holding in tears is a mistake,

If you need to cry do it.

Its also proven crying can help

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I aren't holding back any tears, Just the fact I did almost 2 years crying about it I just can't seem to be bothered to waste my energy on crying about something in the past. I agree that I should but I really don't see the need.

Ellis said:

Hope you feel better soon man, but let it out! Bottling stuff up won't help just let it go once in a while

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I've let everything out before, I tell people about this stuff, Hence why this is a thread on this site. Thanks for the support though, Means alot.

Darth Vader said:

First of all, congrats on your new place. Hope you settle in nicely. Anyways, I'm sorry about your father... despite what his last words were to you, you are still his son so he loved you. Thats what you should hold true to your heart the most. I nevr have had a family member that close like a mom or dad die so I can't really relate to this situation at all but I will pray for you to get through this tough time even though I know you just from the internet. Sorry if that was offensive in case you have a different religion or are just atheist. But you are in my thoughts anyway man. Good luck buddy.

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I don't support any religion so you have no worries at this point man. Means a lot. Thank you

Paradox said:

You can cry man, it's ok to cry sometimes. I'd cry if I was in your position, you're strong for holding it in man.

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Same for the top^

hope you feel better buddy I'm sorry to hear about this