The Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster; The beginnings.
Pastafarian creation
The Gospel begins with the creation of the universe by an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster.
On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano.
Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover.
Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man.
Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.
This creation, "claimed" by Pastafarians to be only 5,000 years ago, would be considered laughable by many scientists.
To this, Lord Henderson satirically retorts that the Flying Spaghetti Monster presented all evidence to the contrary in order to test Pastafarians' faith.
Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"
The book contains the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", adherence to which enables Pastafarians to ascend to heaven, which includes a stripper factory and beer volcano. According to The Gospel, Mosey the Pirate captain received ten stone tablets as advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Of these original ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way down from Mount Salsa. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards."The "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" address a broad array of behavior, from sexual conduct to nutrition. One reviewer commented that this parody of the Ten Commandments "reads like a bitter shopping list of the same criticisms" given to organized religions. One commandment is "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to [His] Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
Pirates and global warming
According to Pastafarian "beliefs", pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Furthermore, Pastafarians believe that the concept of pirates as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. Instead, Pastafarians believe that they were "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, adding that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history". In addition, Pastafarians believe that ghost pirates are responsible for all of the mysteriously lost ships and planes of the Bermuda Triangle. Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19.
Holidays
Pastafarian beliefs extend into lighthearted religious ceremony. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day. Prayers are concluded with a final declaration of affirmation, "R'amen" (or "rAmen"); the term is a parodic portmanteau of the terms "Amen" and "Ramen", referring to instant noodles and to the "noodly appendages" of our deity.
Around the time of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, Pastafarians celebrate a vaguely defined holiday named "Holiday". Holiday does not take place on "a specific date so much as it is the Holiday season, itself". Because Pastafarians "reject dogma and formalism", there are no specific requirements for Holiday. Pastafarians celebrate Holiday in any manner they please. Pastafarians also celebrate "Pastover" as a parody of Passover, and "Ramendan" as a parody of Ramadan.
Pastafarians interpret the increasing usage of "Happy Holidays", rather than more traditional greetings (such as "Merry Christmas"), as support for Pastafarianism. In December 2005, George W. Bush's White House Christmas greeting cards wished people a happy "holiday season", leading Lord Henderson to write the President a note of thanks, including a "fish" emblem depicting the Flying Spaghetti Monster for his limousine or plane. Lord Henderson also thanked Walmart for its use of the phrase.
Some excerpts from The Loose Canon (also known as the book of the flying spaghetti monster) include:
If you have any more questions to ask about the religion, feel free to comment. Or if you just want to leave your Input.
[ People of interest to the Church; @critical @'USP.45' @'satanism' @lame123 @shift ]
Pastafarian creation
The Gospel begins with the creation of the universe by an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster.
On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano.
Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover.
Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man.
Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.
This creation, "claimed" by Pastafarians to be only 5,000 years ago, would be considered laughable by many scientists.
To this, Lord Henderson satirically retorts that the Flying Spaghetti Monster presented all evidence to the contrary in order to test Pastafarians' faith.
Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"
The book contains the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", adherence to which enables Pastafarians to ascend to heaven, which includes a stripper factory and beer volcano. According to The Gospel, Mosey the Pirate captain received ten stone tablets as advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Of these original ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way down from Mount Salsa. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards."The "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" address a broad array of behavior, from sexual conduct to nutrition. One reviewer commented that this parody of the Ten Commandments "reads like a bitter shopping list of the same criticisms" given to organized religions. One commandment is "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to [His] Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
Pirates and global warming
According to Pastafarian "beliefs", pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Furthermore, Pastafarians believe that the concept of pirates as "thieves and outcasts" is misinformation spread by Christian theologians in the Middle Ages and by Hare Krishnas. Instead, Pastafarians believe that they were "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who distributed candy to small children, adding that modern pirates are in no way similar to "the fun-loving buccaneers from history". In addition, Pastafarians believe that ghost pirates are responsible for all of the mysteriously lost ships and planes of the Bermuda Triangle. Pastafarians celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19.
Holidays
Pastafarian beliefs extend into lighthearted religious ceremony. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day. Prayers are concluded with a final declaration of affirmation, "R'amen" (or "rAmen"); the term is a parodic portmanteau of the terms "Amen" and "Ramen", referring to instant noodles and to the "noodly appendages" of our deity.
Around the time of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, Pastafarians celebrate a vaguely defined holiday named "Holiday". Holiday does not take place on "a specific date so much as it is the Holiday season, itself". Because Pastafarians "reject dogma and formalism", there are no specific requirements for Holiday. Pastafarians celebrate Holiday in any manner they please. Pastafarians also celebrate "Pastover" as a parody of Passover, and "Ramendan" as a parody of Ramadan.
Pastafarians interpret the increasing usage of "Happy Holidays", rather than more traditional greetings (such as "Merry Christmas"), as support for Pastafarianism. In December 2005, George W. Bush's White House Christmas greeting cards wished people a happy "holiday season", leading Lord Henderson to write the President a note of thanks, including a "fish" emblem depicting the Flying Spaghetti Monster for his limousine or plane. Lord Henderson also thanked Walmart for its use of the phrase.
Some excerpts from The Loose Canon (also known as the book of the flying spaghetti monster) include:
Code:
I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.
—Suggestions 1:1
Code:
"Since you have done a half-ass job, you will receive half an ass!" The Great Pirate Solomon grabbed his ceremonial scimitar and struck his remaining donkey, cleaving it in two.
—Slackers 1:51–52If you have any more questions to ask about the religion, feel free to comment. Or if you just want to leave your Input.
[ People of interest to the Church; @critical @'USP.45' @'satanism' @lame123 @shift ]
