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Scientology-What they believe.

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I have made this thread to prevent you from getting involved in this so called "religion". If you are a Scientologist, don't hate me, but you should stop wasting your money. I'm going to tell everyone what people pay to hear. They must be a Scientologist for many, many years or pay a LOT of money before they hear what I'm about to tell you.

I DID NOT WRITE THE FOLLOWING, CREDITS GO TO http://www.holysmoke.org/cos/what-cos.htm
Also, I made the text colorful so you don't get bored while reading and can hopefully finish it.
Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xemu. Xemu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

Now Xemu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were over-populated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.

Xemu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xemu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).

After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".

When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.

As for Xemu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xemu is still alive today.

That is the end of the story. And so today everyone is full of these clusters of souls called "body thetans". And if we are to be a free soul then we have to remove all these "body thetans" and pay lots of money to do so. And the only reason people believe in God and Christ was because it was in the film their body thetans saw 75 million years ago.
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If you made it to the end, (I doubt half of you did) then post your thoughts about Scientology.
 

Assangha

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RE: Scientology

I think its a garbage religion. Why the fuck would you go into a religion who's founder was a Science Fiction author? People's stupidity amaze me sometimes.
 
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RE: Scientology

Assangha said:
I think its a garbage religion. Why the fuck would you go into a religion who's founder was a Science Fiction author? People's stupidity amaze me sometimes.

I'm glad you agree with me. Yea, the guy just randomly wrote what came to mind and he started a religion with it. Why would anyone follow it?
 

Clockworkk

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I know tom cruise knows its a cult he knows its fake and all he wants is money.
 

Dr. Hobo

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Ok now tell me kind sir
What is making this story SO much less likely to have taken place than the Bible which tells us about such characters as:

The Jewish Zombie Wizard - Jesus
The Magican - Moses
Superhuman - Noa (which built a Ark with the size of china by himslef and his three sons)
The unisex woman - Maria which seem to have given birth to a child even though she is a virgin

And hereby I present THE KING OF BULLSHIT
The invisible omnipotent and omniscient magical skydaddy which is always watching us all the time - GOD!
 

Assangha

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God is an Atheist. Congratulations, you've just made yourself look like an idiot.
 
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Yes he did, and no need to hate on Christianity. And what Scientologists believe is way more unlikely to have happened. I know, half of what is in the Bible doesn't really make sense to me. But they can believe what they want, you don't have to be a dick about it. But Scientology is just a joke. They make you pay money for a religion. Christianity doesn't do that.
 

Dr. Hobo

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Ok guys you didn't just light the match you also threw it in the gasoline

Here is the deal I'll answer each statement.

God is an Atheist. Congratulations, you've just made yourself look like an idiot.
Oh if you want to see my thread about this exact subject on HF you can just search Dr.HoboZombie
And the stuff I said was not aimed at him


You talk shit dude
Every religion has at one time or still is based on earning money
You know if you were a Christian in the 1500 you would have to pay lots of money to the church for a "Pasport" so you could enter heaven
 

Assangha

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Mkay. :3 Sorry for being harsh. It sounded like you were attacking him.
 
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Xeplict said:
You talk shit dude
Every religion has at one time or still is based on earning money
You know if you were a Christian in the 1500 you would have to pay lots of money to the church for a "Pasport" so you could enter heaven
Ok, that was in the 1500's, Scientology still makes people pay today. It's just a scam, the dude literally wrote whatever popped up in his mind and called it a religion. At least Christianity teaches life lessons and stuff, Scientology doesn't teach anything. And I don't talk shit.
 

Clockworkk

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Agreed
 

Assangha

Active Member
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Actually, most Christians do pay a good amount of money to the Church. I know my mom does.
 
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But is it a requirement? I don't think it is. Scientology requires you to pay money in order to learn their 'secrets'.
And thank you Clockwork.
 

Assangha

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No it is not a requirement. But many people do feel obligated to do it. I'm just saying, I can see where X is coming from.
 
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Well if the church is putting pressure on people to pay money that is messed up. Religion should be free. I didn't know people payed the church, I've never been.
 

Assangha

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Basically what happens is, sometime during the sermon, they will pass out baskets and people put money in them.
 
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Assangha said:


Basically what happens is, sometime during the sermon, they will pass out baskets and people put money in them.
What's with the picture? Anyways yea actually I have seen that in The Simpsons. I just forgot about it.
 

Assangha

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Someone passing the offering basket.