What does a woman and carpet have in common? if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them later.
What do you do when your wife comes out the kitchen to complain? Shorten the chain.
A truck hits a woman, who's at fault? The truck driver, what the hell was the truck doing in the kitchen?
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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