Rough draft of a short story I did in like less than an hour. Looking for some feedback. Went pretty basic, could put more just tell me if you like the concept.
-Thanks
-Thanks
[Title]
“Class we will have a support paper due tomorrow on the topic of bullying.” Man, we always do bullying, I’ve been through it enough, why right about it. I live in the slums why do i go to a private school. Always getting picked on by my friends getting neglected. Mom died when I was only 7 years old in front of my eyes. A guy in a black ski mask and was a black man beat my mother. I hated living in the slums. I smuggled lots of drugs, but my flow in writing teachers couldn’t understand. Getting C’s in classes and my dad being addicted to meth. I don’t know what to do with him. He’s been a pain. Always bothering me asking if I got money to buy some more. I practically raise myself and my baby sister Tanya. She’s only 8 & I’m 17. I started being a dad when I was 10 since pops never did anything for us. I got this assignment I have to do luckily It’s gonna be easy since i’ve been through this. I do everything for my family one day I just want to become something to make momma proud. She did everything and I always pray for her every night hoping she looking down at me. Let’s start this paper though.
“Bullying is a very down reflected topic that should be dealed with.” Lemme go get some snacks first and a drink im pretty thirsty. Man we got some chips and some mtn dew. im bouta smash! Alright back to this paper.
“I feel as bullying should be talked to anyone about that you trust. If you feel as if you don’t trust anyone in your school talk to someone you can, friends or a dad or mom, unless you like me man, tell no one and live low like I have. Teachers may try and help you but they won’t know how you feel unless they’ve been through it. They always think they know what’s happening when really they don’t know anything. If you trust a friend of yours you can go to him/her. Easier telling a friend then telling a teacher/parent since you probably trust them more then you do your teachers.” Man this papers been long. I gotta pee. *Tanya crying*
“What’s wrong Tanya?”
“I’m hungwy!”
“Whatcha wanna eat?”
“Can you order some pizza?”
“Let me see with druggy if he got any cash.”
“DAD YOU GOT MONEY?”
“YEAH!”
“CAN I ORDER PIZZA?”
“SURE GET A LARGE CHEESE!”
“ALRIGHT!”
“Alright, I’m ordering it Tanya, go play.”
“Welcome to PizzaPalace, today’s special is a large pizza for $5! Would this be for pickup or delivery?”
“Delivery”
“Adress?”
“645 Brooklyn Ave”
“Alright what would you like?”
“Lemme get a large cheese”
“alright, anything else?”
“nah”
“$6.23, cash or credit?”
“Cash”
“30-45 minutes”
“Thanks.”
*Hangs up*
“ORDER THE PIZZA GUYS!”
Alright let’s get back to this paper man, I’m just gonna finish it and go to sleep. “In conclusion, bullying should be stopped by anyone.”
“Alright kids turn in your bullying papers!”
*Raising My Hand*
“Yes Jamie?”
“I forgot my paper it’s on my bed, I was working on it last night, can I give it to you tomorrow?”
“Sorry, I don’t accept late work”
“I never ever forgot a paper, please?”
“Sorry Jamie.”
Man I worked so hard on that paper, and some new kids at school now. Names Nick. We met. He let me come over after school cause he wants some friends and since I don’t have any I needed this after today. I went to Jamie’s house and he saw my bullying paper in my bag and gave it to his dad which was a famous writer by the name of Robert Tulqusto. He loved my essay and wanted to buy it from me. I don’t know why. He said I had talent and could go somewhere. I never saw myself writing for a career. He said he wanted to bring me in to talk to some people about my writing skills. Robert intruduced me to some people and said they wanted me to move to L.A to become a famous play writer for a bullying play. This was insane! I shared this for good news and Mrs. Swuartz said “The paper you didn’t turn in?” Man it was insane, I finally became something after all that time of being nothing and being picked on. I was gonna make a change in my fam. I was gonna make a change for myself.
“Class we will have a support paper due tomorrow on the topic of bullying.” Man, we always do bullying, I’ve been through it enough, why right about it. I live in the slums why do i go to a private school. Always getting picked on by my friends getting neglected. Mom died when I was only 7 years old in front of my eyes. A guy in a black ski mask and was a black man beat my mother. I hated living in the slums. I smuggled lots of drugs, but my flow in writing teachers couldn’t understand. Getting C’s in classes and my dad being addicted to meth. I don’t know what to do with him. He’s been a pain. Always bothering me asking if I got money to buy some more. I practically raise myself and my baby sister Tanya. She’s only 8 & I’m 17. I started being a dad when I was 10 since pops never did anything for us. I got this assignment I have to do luckily It’s gonna be easy since i’ve been through this. I do everything for my family one day I just want to become something to make momma proud. She did everything and I always pray for her every night hoping she looking down at me. Let’s start this paper though.
“Bullying is a very down reflected topic that should be dealed with.” Lemme go get some snacks first and a drink im pretty thirsty. Man we got some chips and some mtn dew. im bouta smash! Alright back to this paper.
“I feel as bullying should be talked to anyone about that you trust. If you feel as if you don’t trust anyone in your school talk to someone you can, friends or a dad or mom, unless you like me man, tell no one and live low like I have. Teachers may try and help you but they won’t know how you feel unless they’ve been through it. They always think they know what’s happening when really they don’t know anything. If you trust a friend of yours you can go to him/her. Easier telling a friend then telling a teacher/parent since you probably trust them more then you do your teachers.” Man this papers been long. I gotta pee. *Tanya crying*
“What’s wrong Tanya?”
“I’m hungwy!”
“Whatcha wanna eat?”
“Can you order some pizza?”
“Let me see with druggy if he got any cash.”
“DAD YOU GOT MONEY?”
“YEAH!”
“CAN I ORDER PIZZA?”
“SURE GET A LARGE CHEESE!”
“ALRIGHT!”
“Alright, I’m ordering it Tanya, go play.”
“Welcome to PizzaPalace, today’s special is a large pizza for $5! Would this be for pickup or delivery?”
“Delivery”
“Adress?”
“645 Brooklyn Ave”
“Alright what would you like?”
“Lemme get a large cheese”
“alright, anything else?”
“nah”
“$6.23, cash or credit?”
“Cash”
“30-45 minutes”
“Thanks.”
*Hangs up*
“ORDER THE PIZZA GUYS!”
Alright let’s get back to this paper man, I’m just gonna finish it and go to sleep. “In conclusion, bullying should be stopped by anyone.”
“Alright kids turn in your bullying papers!”
*Raising My Hand*
“Yes Jamie?”
“I forgot my paper it’s on my bed, I was working on it last night, can I give it to you tomorrow?”
“Sorry, I don’t accept late work”
“I never ever forgot a paper, please?”
“Sorry Jamie.”
Man I worked so hard on that paper, and some new kids at school now. Names Nick. We met. He let me come over after school cause he wants some friends and since I don’t have any I needed this after today. I went to Jamie’s house and he saw my bullying paper in my bag and gave it to his dad which was a famous writer by the name of Robert Tulqusto. He loved my essay and wanted to buy it from me. I don’t know why. He said I had talent and could go somewhere. I never saw myself writing for a career. He said he wanted to bring me in to talk to some people about my writing skills. Robert intruduced me to some people and said they wanted me to move to L.A to become a famous play writer for a bullying play. This was insane! I shared this for good news and Mrs. Swuartz said “The paper you didn’t turn in?” Man it was insane, I finally became something after all that time of being nothing and being picked on. I was gonna make a change in my fam. I was gonna make a change for myself.