So I just hopped in the shower. It got really stuffy so I opened the bathroom window. I continue my shower as normal until a FUCKING BIRD flew in my window and started flying around the bathroom knocking shit over on the counter and ramming into the mirror. Out of shock, I stepped back and slipped on a bottle of shampoo and smacked face first into the warm bathtub floor. While I regained consciousness, the bird continued to ruin the bathroom and ran into the mirror. At this point, we are now 30 seconds into the ordeal so it's starting to hurt itself. The bird gives up and lands on the counter obviously bewildered, so I get out of the shower ass naked and walk over to the counter. It stares at me and I stare back at it. I tell the bird that there is no fucking way I'm touching him so he should fly out the still open window. He clearly does not understand so I am left with no choice. I grab the bird in my towel and carry it outside. STILL naked. I make it outside and decide that I need to walk the bird at LEAST a few feet from my door so it doesn't fly back inside. As I step out there, my ALWAYS ABSENT neighbors choose a wonderful time to pull into their driveway which is overlooking mine.
So here I am, naked, with a towel in my hands and not around me, in my driveway. I release the towel so the bird can escape and the neighbors can finally understand what happened. As I release the towel, the bird falls lifeless on the ground.
God dammit.
So here I am, naked, with a towel in my hands and not around me, in my driveway. I release the towel so the bird can escape and the neighbors can finally understand what happened. As I release the towel, the bird falls lifeless on the ground.
God dammit.
