Let's Get Punny (Official Pun Thread)

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This is a thread all about puns! Post all your funniest puns here!
Ex. Why was the clam put in time out? Because it was being shellfish!​
 
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'. (Let that settle in for a sec) c:
 
Holy shit that was funny.
I forgot how to throw a boomerrang but eventually it came back to me!
 
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
 
Fuck you bulldog I laugh to hard I cried.
Pun:
Atheism is a non prophet organization.
 
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
 
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
 
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. XD
 
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
 
With all this "Drama" going on i think we all need a reliever. Let's make some Puns!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
 
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
 
This Pun thread has gone way out of hand, You are all receiving PUNishments
 
I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
 
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