Let's Get Punny (Official Pun Thread)

[Cannabis]

Let's get this started again, I'm the need for a few laughs.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery.

I know a guy who is addicted to break fluid, he says he can stop anytime.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

 

[Difficult]

I would have told you a joke about some clouds but it would have past right over your head.

 

[Its Envious.]

I can tell you guys a joke about my dick, but it's too long.

I could also tell you a joke about a pussy, but you'd never get it.

(;

 

[APHEX]

Friends are like marshmallows, they dissolve in acid.

Babies are similar to walnuts in the respect that if you were to crush them there wouldn't be much left.

I'm not very good at being punny.

 

[Bump Bot]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.